I teach people to be more successful, and one of the first things I share is a simple question

Gary John Bishop Author Photo Courtesy of HarperOne, a division of HarperCollinsPublishers

This post is an excerpt from “Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life,” by Gary John Bishop.

“Fate leads the willing and drags along the reluctant.”
- Seneca

Either you control your destiny, or your destiny will control you. Life won’t stop for your pauses and procrastinations. It won’t stop for your confusion or fear. It will continue right along without you. Whether you play an active part or not, the show will go on.

That’s why one of the first personal assertions I teach to my clients is: “I am willing.”

Before you can say that to yourself honestly, you must first ask yourself the question “Am I willing?” That question demands an answer. It can’t just be left there in the nothingness of the universe. Am I willing? It pulls for a response. Am I willing? Its power is irresistible; I cannot escape its press for truth.

Am I willing to go to the gym?

Am I willing to work on that project I’ve been putting off?

Am I willing to face my social fears?

Am I willing to ask for a raise or quit this shi--y job?

In short, are you willing to stop living the life you have and start living the life you’re after? It ALL begins with the emergence of willingness, that liquid, constantly expanding and contracting state where life springs and cedes—and all of it is within you at the flick of a linguistic switch.

We often view ourselves as procrastinators or lazy or unmotivated. When, in reality, we’re simply unwilling. We put things off or avoid them completely because we tell ourselves we just don’t want to do it or that we can’t do it.

Instead of viewing this behavior as a character flaw, let’s create a sense of willingness where there is apparently none. A spark of potential, if you like. You are a master generator of this state of openness and potential. Once upon a time in your life, this state was easy to access, enlivened by the vigor of youth or the curiosity of childhood. Somehow, over the years, we lost touch with this magical state.

The famous philosopher and political scientist Niccolò Machiavelli once said, “Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great.”

Consider that for a second. It does not matter what you’re facing in life, which obstacle you’re trying to overcome—if you are willing to generate that state of willingness, that’s your doorway to making the effort, taking the steps, dealing with the setbacks, and ultimately creating the progress and change in your life that you’re seeking.

That’s why such a simple statement—“I am willing”—is so profound. You become enlivened and empowered by its promise, open to its allure.

I ask again: Are you willing?

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