15 common social quirks that make you less likable
Superbad/Columbia Pictures
Being more likable is within your grasp.
All it takes is nixing some of your less-than-desirable social quirks.
With the help of some Quora users and social psychology research, we were able to identify 14 social behaviors that could make you less likable.
You'd be well-advised to avoid these:
Avoiding eye contact
The very first thing people will try to decide about you when they meet you is if they can trust you — and it's fairly hard to like someone if you don't trust them.
As Heidi Grant Halvorson explains in her book "No One Understands You And What To Do About It," this decision is made almost entirely unconsciously, and it usually comes down to how well you can balance conveying two things: warmth and competence.
"People need to feel that they have been heard, even when you can't give them what they are asking for or can't be of particular help," Halvorson writes. One simple way to show you're paying attention is to make eye contact and hold it.
Halvorson says that making eye contact is also an effective way to convey competence, and studies have shown that those who do so are consistently judged as more intelligent.
Avoiding eye contact, on the other hand, can convey deceit and untrustworthiness.
Resting stone face
Nodding and smiling are other key ways to convey warmth and competence, Halvorson says.
If you want people to think you're cold, or even angry at them, then doing the opposite and not reacting to what they're saying is certainly a good way to go about that.
Being contrary
Showing empathy is an effective way to get people to like and trust you, Halvorson says.
It requires you to put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to relate to them by finding common interests, dislikes, and experiences.
If all you can do is contradict whatever someone says, you're not connecting with them, and you're very likely making them mad.
See the rest of the story at Business Insider
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